LOGO

I’m drinking a cup of tea at a window seat in Soho, looking out at the Prince Edward Theatre, home of the hit musical,

Admittedly more of a subtitle than a strapline, but that’s a useful, succinct one liner. It’s not silly, irrelevant, an over-sell or a lie like a lot of brand straplines. It makes an introduction, then lets the Show continue the conversation.

Straplines have the potential for a bit more, giving a brand a voice and a personality, an opportunity to distinguish from competitors, and a push of persuasion.

But some brands really do get it wrong, with lines strapped on that I can only describe with the words: “absolutely awful”.

Bazuka: “Bazuka that verruca, Bazuca that wart”.

I shudder. And feel a bit sick.

Curanail: “It’s better to get Curanail than have criminails”.

Criminail? It’s not even a word! Neither is it clever to add the letter ‘i’ in the act of what is, quite frankly, a terrible play on words. Or rather than ‘frankly’, let’s go with ‘Frank-Valli’. See what I did?

Don’t worry; I’m not just going to comment on the blunders of anti-fungal brands.  On TV this morning:

Cotton Traders: “Have you cottoned on yet?”

So obvious (-ly bad).

And then as I fuelled my scooter up to get here, I came across this for BP’s London 2012 campaign:

“Great performance comes from the heart. BP Fuels: Looking after the heart of your car.”

Okay, got it: petrol is the lifeblood of a motor vehicle, the driving force, the passion, just like that of an athlete. But that’s coming from a corporation that has about as much heart as a washed-up, oil-coated fish.

Omnipresent, bad, inappropriate, dishonest, weird strapline usage!

It’s better not to have one. Brands should give space and silence a go.

Let the product do the talking. Build content in other ways and places.

Let’s rid the world of craplines!

I know, I know, I’m ranting / not answering my own question / thankfully not an Ad Man. But it’s easier to pick holes than to seal them.

Hold on… that’s it!

Ronseal: “It does exactly what it says on the tin”.

That’s the answer.

Simple, direct, honest, a bit cheeky, catchy, catchphrase-inducing, and fit for product. (And pretty gutsy for the brand/ad agency… or a cop-out?)

But it’s got everything.

It’s the perfect strapline.

Just a shame it’s strapped onto woodstain.

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